My New Reality
It’s May of 2021 and the date on my one and only blog is
February 2017. I don’t know what that
says about my ability to follow through but thanks to the loyal friendship of
Nancy Moser I am ready to move forward and attempt to blog on a consistent
basis. I’m really writing more for me
than you. I know that sounds selfish but
let me explain.
I have spent most of my adult life in Christian Publishing
as a background person. I have enjoyed
every moment of the journey and have been blessed to work with amazing people,
called by God to communicate His Word.
Sometimes my role has been very minor and on rare occasions I’ve
invested all my creative energy in a major way.
On February 10, 2019 my world was turned upside down. I stood beside the hospital bed of my husband
of 53 years as we were told he had a mass in his abdomen. Extensive testing concluded that he had
Peripheral T Cell Lymphoma. We moved
rapidly into a course of treatment that proved to be agonizing for him and we
were truly sustained by God’s power and the love and prayers of family and
friends. My husband was the most
courageous person I know and through 19 months of chemotherapy he never
complained. We held tightly to the hope
of divine healing for him and daily expressed our gratitude to God for one more
day of life. On September 17, 2020
surrounded by his family, Steve graduated to his heavenly reward. My journey of grief was just beginning. I read numerous books and spoke with other
widows. I had walked along side Vonette Bright when her husband Bill graduated
to heaven and watched the grace and courage she displayed as she drew strength
from her deep faith and assurance of Bill’s joy of being in the presence of the
Lord. I was relieved that Steve was no
longer in pain and I knew he was in heaven, but the natural woman and spiritual
woman had to reconcile how to live in victory in my new reality. I confess, some days are better than
others. God’s Word has been more
precious to me than ever before and sometimes I find myself sitting with my
Bible open on my lap, both hands on the pages just praying to somehow absorb
the truth into my innermost being. The
Living Word of God has proven to be my greatest source of strength. We
don’t grieve as those who have no hope. (1 Thes 4:13) Grief is real and
unique to each individual. Friends
encouraged me to find a new ‘normal’, and I struggled with the concept of
‘normal.’ At the age of 74 and 53 years
of marriage my life would never be ‘normal’ again. I decided to seek God for his guidance in my
new ‘reality.’ The faithfulness of God
never changes and I awake each morning grasping for His presence and leading.
Just FYI – my life verse is Galatians 2:20
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer
I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting
in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. NLT
